Pick me. Choose me. Love me.

Yes, this is indeed from Meredith in Grey’s Anatomy. Tonight I saw an episode that spoke volumes to me and made me so incredibly happy. Why? Because I am the biggest hopeless romantic I know and it’s kind of pathetic, but I’m proud.

To give a little bit of background on this, there are two characters that were together for a while and were perfect for each other on so many levels but they didn’t last. Soon after they both started dating other people and it just so happens that right when the other one is about to get married the other one stands up and declares his love for her.This sounds like the most cliche thing in the whole world but come on! I did mention I was a hopeless romantic.

You don’t understand how happy this made my heart. It’s so beautiful that even though they lost each other, somewhere along the way their paths still reconnected. It made me happy because I want a love like that. Maybe not one that makes me leave a guy at the altar but one that is so strong that we’ll find our way back to each other when we get lost. Though you know, the goal is to never get lost, we are still human and shit happens. I hope that one day someone will look at me the way that Avery looks at April (the couple that finally got together).

Sometimes it’s frustrating and I honestly admit that I tend to settle. It’s just that I have all this love to give but no one to give it to. I am super impatient and I mostly end up messing up whatever it is I had with a guy. I guess that’s not so bad though because every guy I have ever talked with was never interested in something serious. How do you even control that? To me it’s like blasphemy. How do you stop yourself from having feelings for someone? Isn’t the whole point of being with someone to see if you’re a match for life? That’s the way I see it anyway. Why waste your time if you’re not going to be serious about it? I guess I should shut up and take my own advice.

It’s most definitely so hard not to settle though. I want to feel loved and I want to love. Sometimes a guy won’t be looking for something serious but will give you attention and pretend love to get what they want. So, I settle for that and hope it’s enough to feed my soul.

-Ipseity Girl


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